Shhh, listen please

Seviyir Suvayunara Vaayunarvin Maakal

Aviyinum Vaazhinum enn? | Kural 420

How does it matter whether those people live or die,

if they only have a taste for what they eat and not for what they listen to ?

In a world where everyone wants to speak, someone who truly listens is a rarity. The art of listening is becoming an endangered virtue. It was this neglect that made event the gentle Thiruvalluvar sound exasperated. In one of his rare moments of harshness, he says in Kural 420:

Seviyir Suvayunara Vaayunarvin Maakal, Aviyinum Vaazhinum Enn?

Valluvar, who usually guides with quite reasoning, almost loses patience here. He is not mocking the act of eating but scorning those who believe that every good thing must be taken through the mouth - the gourmets who know favors but not meanings, who can taste food but not words. The chapter on listening in Thirukkural is one of its most luminous. It celebrates the ear as the true gateway to wisdom. This is particular couplet reminds us that listening is not just about knowledge; it is about kindness, patience and presence.

In our homes, offices and social circles, haven't we all met the 'Know-It-All'? They interrupt, advise, and finish other people's sentences. Some bosses cannot listen to a subordinate for event thirty seconds. They repeat the same advice their teams have heard a hundred times and the employee leaves the room unheard and eventually leaves the organization.

At Home, parents often complain that their children dislike advice, The irony? They advise too much and listen too little. Listening, after all, is one of the purest acts of love a person can offer another.

Neuroscience explains why this matters. When we pour our hearts out and someone listens with empathy, the amygdala, the part of the brain that manages fear and anxiety, cools down. Scientists call this limbic resonance - the moment two human brains emotionally connect. Attention, not advice, soothes the human hearth.

Holocaust survivor and psychiatrist Viktor Frankl knew this truth. In his book, 'Man's Search for Meaning', he recounts an incident from his post-war medical practice. One night, a woman called him to say she was about to end her life. Frankl stayed on the phone, gently talking her through the night. She promised she would not take her life and kept her word. Later, when they met, he asked which of his reasons had persuaded her to live. "None", she said. "It was because you were willing to listen to me, even in the middle of the night."

for her, a world where someone could listen was still a world worth living in. at home, when a child narrates what happened at school and a parent listens with half an ear, the child gradually stops sharing. When a spouse complains about a tiring day, they don't seek a solution, only understanding. When we listen, we tell another human being, with out words: You matter.

Thiruvalluvar's verse is not just an admonition; it is an invitation to fill our ears before we fill our stomachs.

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